i found you in between the pages, cracked and old and broken, remembering the past just barely but enough.

don't follow me. it's been months and you're still haunting me. sometimes i think i see you in the corner of my eye, just out of sight. but you are never out of mind. i've had a lot of bad habits but for some reason you keep coming out on top of that deck of cards that also have rehab, let's smoke some more, and fuck it, let's fuck. but i know it wasn't me. this time, it was you. you let the water creep in the cracks, the mildew build up. i just had to get on my knees and scrape you away. try to salvage what was still left. sometimes i wonder what would have happened if things had ended up just so; but i know that things ended up just so because we are in too different frames of reference. mine is fast, moody, ever changing. you are my spider veins and my back aches. but i've learned a few things since you and i know i can never give up who i am. there is no compromise left in my body.