it's been two since you but it's still all the same, a letdown and a name

I woke up this morning feeling like
everything fit together, a map that was
redrawn, redefined and the cold sheets
unraveled an ancient mystery. Suddenly

I was smothered by fall, sad and somber,
the leaves changing over, all without my
consent. I want to command something
in my life, whether it is the harsh winds

or the grades I receive, head filling up
just to forget in the next breath. If I could
count each freckle on your back and
drown out the sounds of bed frames

hitting the walls I know I’d remember why
we stopped smiling at each other. The bottoms
dropped out of all the glasses, and your
occupation is picking all the little pieces of

me up off the floor. Instead you wander
drunkenly between the two dirty rooms,
laughing slowly while I’m upstairs
forsaking God and lighting cherries on fire.

There are worse ways to puncture holes
In my soul, letting the air out of a balloon
To float away while the animal shaped clouds
And the azure of the sky eat its skin alive.