the core

I am surrounded by padded walls
for a padded mind in an attempt to
stop this implosion of hate and regret.

I know I’ve cracked open like the shell of
a nut waiting for my insides to be devoured
and understood but no one can read this

murky motivation. Somewhere in this
stillness I am an unborn child waiting to
confront the new era. I am meandering through

the rivers of my own blue blood before it hits
the surface the air just to become another type of
smear to wipe away.

There is nothing to document in this emptiness and
all I can feel is my own biological clock
ticking ticking ticking

a bomb waiting in the dark a grenade without a pin
a hallucination and a suspension of all rational thought
this is what it’s like when I know

I have death around the eyes since everything dies
eventually and I know all I have is my own constant ticking.
One day you’ll reach me at the core

of everything where the light blooms and explodes
kaleidoscope geometry in a heart so deep that
it may never be found.